Love 'Em or Leave 'Em Read online

  Angie Stanton

  This title was previously published by Avalon Books; this version has been reproduced from Avalon Books archive files.

  This is for you, Mom.

  I miss you dearly.

  Special thanks to my amazing screwball family, Ed, Kristi, and Kevin. You make my days worth living.

  This book wouldn't have been possible without my incredible critique group and the extraordinary women of WisRWA Madison.

  Thanks to my numerous girlfriends; you make life so much fun and are always willing to kick me in the butt when I'm down. A special call out to the women from "Not the Book Club Club," who will never see this, because they don't like to read.

  This story could not have been written without the reality television genre. You make a girl wonder, What if it were me? And finally I thank all the good-looking quarterbacks in the NFL who make women want to watch football.

  Ashley tried to pinpoint exactly how she'd gotten into this mess. As the limo cruised past the palatial estates along the beaches of Southern California, she flipped open her phone and hit Redial. Within seconds, a voice came on the line.

  "You can't call me now. You're not even supposed to have a phone"

  "Kelli, what on earth was I thinking? How did I let you talk me into this?" Kelli, her trusted friend, knew her most embarrassing moments and deepest secrets.

  "Where are you, Ashley? Tell me exactly."

  "You know I would do anything for you, but this goes beyond the limits of friendship." Decked out in a black silk designer gown she'd never seen before tonight, Ashley sat with the phone to her ear. The cutest shoes adorned her feet. Thin black straps crisscrossed daintily over her feet and tiny rhinestones sparkled like diamonds.

  "Ashley?"

  "I'm in the car-I mean, the limo. We're driving by big houses. I might throw up" She was moments away from her appearance in the latest version of a television reality dating show titled "Love 'Em or Leave 'Em." "I hate these shows."

  "I know, but you're doing me the biggest favor in the world. I owe you big-time. Think chocolate martinis."

  She was saving Kelli's job. At the last moment, one of the contestants had arrived at the pre-show meeting with a full-blown case of chicken pox. Makeup covered the girl's face so thick it could be scraped off with a butter knife. The pock-faced girl had begged the producers to allow her to stay on, but with no success. So Kelli had pleaded with Ashley to save both the day and Kelli's job as casting director.

  Ashley leaned back and tried to relax. She stared through the tinted sunroof at the night sky as she spoke into the phone. "What am I doing? Yesterday I was searching the want ads for a new job. Today I'm with a group of young single bimbos fighting for the hand of some desperate bachelor who probably only wants a quick tumble, or his fifteen minutes of fame."

  "Get ahold of yourself. You can do this. Remember the plan? All you have to do is behave yourself, keep under the radar-"

  "And I'll be off this stupid show tonight. You know this goes against everything I believe in. Since when did it become okay to go on a television game show to decide the rest of your life? To fall in love in six short weeks during sweeps to keep America entertained? It isn't right. Who possibly believes these shows are reality?"

  Ashley knew, from all the pre-planning Kelli did for the network, that they planned these farces down to the last detail so they would come off without a glitch. Each girl was chosen for the harem of airheaded Barbie dolls for a specific reason.

  "I understand how you feel. Hang in there, and if everything goes as planned, you'll be off the show tonight."

  "I hate this."

  "I know, and I'm sorry. If I knew of any other way, I would have taken it. You're my last resort and I'm eternally grateful. Now listen up. I want you to pull yourself together. You look great and you're going to be fine"

  Ashley glanced down at her quickly polished self. Kelli had steamrolled her to get ready in time. "I'm going to call you again later so I can whine and you can grovel some more"

  "No you're not. Now tuck the phone away, and don't let anyone know you have it. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the moment. You look great! Try to enjoy yourself."

  "Not likely. I'll see you tomorrow. At least I'd better. Enjoy my suffering and pain, because this will never happen again." She flipped the phone shut and slipped it into her tiny handbag, took her prescribed breaths, and glanced back down at her feet.

  Her toes looked majorly good, thanks to a pedicure the week before. A makeup artist had crafted a masterpiece on her normally plain, girl-next-door looks. Her medium-blond hair, however, could have used more time. She viewed herself as more of a casual girl. Never much makeup. Her at-home attire was usually a long T-shirt and loose shorts with her favorite pair of comfortable orange flip-flops. Definitely not classy.

  The limo slowed and turned onto a long, brick-paved drive ending in a large circular area in front of a beautiful mansion. The whole scene was right out of a magazine spread depicting a Spanish countryside villa.

  Oh geez. Cameras were everywhere. How could she have forgotten the cameras? She hated this even more.

  Please let me survive this and get out with my sanity intact, if not my pride. Ashley would rather slide through life unaware and alone than flaunt herself in front of the cameras looking like a desperate debutante. Please let this be painless and as short as possible.

  The limo rolled to a stop between two large light stands. Tripods held three cameras and two more were handheld. A few feet from her door a large figure loomed.

  Oh no, there he is.

  He was tall, over six feet, and broad across the shoulders. His posture commanded attention as he waited, one hand casually in his pocket. He appeared lean and fit, with narrow hips and long, lanky legs. Her heart rate increased as she took in his confident stance. She couldn't see his face, but he seemed attractive in shadow.

  Okay, this might not be half bad. Hanging out with some hot guy would certainly soften the blow. There were a lot worse ways to spend her time.

  Ashley wondered who he was. All Kelli would say was that he was well-known and liked by everyone.

  There was a certain kind of guy Ashley preferred, and her type most certainly wouldn't be the kind to put himself on television to find a date.

  She perched nervously on the edge of the leather seat, palms sweaty and heart racing. Her queasy stomach emitted a loud rumble, objecting to the stress. She battled the impulse to lose her cookies then and there.

  The door opened and bright lights blinded her.

  Time froze.

  She sat unmoving. They waited for her. She couldn't do it. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to convince herself to get out of the limo. It wouldn't be so bad. She was a strong woman, and had survived more difficult times than this.

  With a steely grip on the door and a forced smile on her lips, she cautiously stepped out of the car and moved forward to meet the mystery man. The cam eras surrounded her. Bright lights beat down on her. Blinded her.

  Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore.

  As she stepped forward, the shadow of the man became visible behind the glare. She continued toward him with what she hoped was a friendly smile for the camera.

  Wham!

  Fabric ripped as she was propelled toward the concrete by the speed of her own momentum. Out of the corner of her eye, Ashley saw Mister Broad Shoulders lunge forward, but she was too fast. It was "Bachelorette Eats Sidewalk." Unbelievable! She wanted to fly under the radar, not hit it straight on, like a bug on a windshield.

  She sprawled on the sidewalk as though she had just slid into home plate headfirst. Her hands stung like mad, and her knee hurt like heck.

  Pretty sure
I just tore the borrowed dress.

  Two large feet shod in well-polished shoes stood before her.

  How could she graciously exit this scene? Could you say "take two" in reality TV? Maybe she should crawl back into the limo before it pulled away and never come back.

  Ashley wished the sidewalk would open up and swallow her whole. She grit her teeth in humiliation. Feeling like a total fool was nothing new. She had a knack for finding embarrassing situations.

  Crawling to her hands and knees in an unladylike fashion, Ashley felt warm hands on her shoulder and arm as the mystery man attempted to help her up.

  She glanced around and prayed for someone to yell "Cut," or step forward and say "Let's try it again," but no one did.

  A deep, husky voice said, "Let me help you" There was a hint of a Southern accent and a concerned tone in his voice.

  "No, I'm fine" Lifting her dress out of the way, Ashley tried unsuccessfully to pull away from his gentle grip.

  As she stood, her eyes scanned the man in front of her from toes up. Dang, he was tall.

  She pushed the hair out of her face and looked at his hands, still resting reassuringly on her bare skin. Ashley tilted her head up toward the low voice and repeated, "I'm fine"

  His eyes showed sincere concern. She quickly glanced away, not ready to connect with him. This was not the stunning entrance she'd hoped for her television debut, but it was memorable nonetheless.

  And then he had the nerve to laugh at her. Okay, not laugh, but definitely chuckle. Ashley faced him with strands of mussed hair stuck to her lip gloss. She pushed the hair away from her mouth and felt lines of gloss streak across her cheek.

  He held her shoulder to keep her steady and looked at her no-longer-perfectly-made-up face. With an arched eyebrow, he grinned a devilish smile. "Falling for me already?"

  Their eyes connected.

  Zzzt. Her body went numb.

  Hunky NFL quarterback Luke Townsend stood before her. The icon of football, complete with his trademark chiseled jawline and a day's beard growth. Why would a big shot like him be on a reality dating show? Who cared?

  Ashley stared up at him, her jaw wide open. Great. He can see my fillings.

  He smiled and laughed at her obvious awe of him.

  Ashley nervously laughed back and then noticed the producers waving her toward the entrance to the mansion. She numbly walked past him into the building, looking back every few steps to make sure it was really him.

  I have just fallen at the feet of Luke Townsend. He was the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, the team revered by everyone from Wisconsin and beyond. The gods are laughing at me now. I know they are. Everyone she knew and everyone they knew would watch this show. There were no more loyal fans in the world than Packer fans. I think I'm going to curl up and die right at this moment. Yup, I think it would be the best way to go.

  Inside the mansion more cameras lurked, and the crowd of gorgeous young women grew, each woman more beautiful than the next. Ashley knew one thing for sure: she did not belong in this crowd.

  She approached the mass of decked-out ladies and found, instead of a vicious pack of women sizing each other up, a sorority party. Certainly they checked out the competition, but all claws were sheathed for the moment.

  "Did you see him?" exclaimed a tall blond bombshell with an unnaturally large bosom.

  A curvaceous brunet with perfect teeth squealed, "He is totally gorgeous!"

  "Did you know he was a football player?" asked a platinum blond with a dress cut down to her pierced belly button.

  Ashley maneuvered through the group in hopes of finding a quiet corner.

  Another long-limbed beauty exclaimed, "What's his name? Where's he from? I've never heard of him, but who cares!"

  Ashley hung to the side as the room filled with more stunning women. Most didn't know who Luke Townsend was, which proved they weren't watching football on Sunday afternoons.

  The women all resembled Miss America or America's next supermodel. Ashley was more like the girl with a bad haircut. She didn't mind, though. She felt pretty normal, and it was fine with her. I won't be threatening any of the bathing beauties here.

  The questions and chatter continued until the twenty-fifth and final "bachelorette" entered the mansion. Then, on cue, in walked the host, Clay Stevens. Clay looked like a nobody trying to make it in Hollywood via another reality television show. His reddish blond hair spiked out all over his head like a Ryan Seacrest wannabe. It didn't go well with his black tuxedo, which hung limply over his shoulders.

  "Welcome to the Seville Mansion, ladies," he said in his fake Hollywood voice. "I'm sure you're anxious to know more about our bachelor, so I won't make you wait any longer. Ladies, may I introduce NFL quarterback Mr. Luke Townsend" Clay stepped aside, extending his arm toward the door.

  Luke wore an easygoing smile as he walked through the foyer and down the steps into the great room. He towered above all the women in their stiletto heels.

  "Good evening, ladies," he said. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you all" He smiled and nodded tentatively as he gazed around the room.

  Ashley knew each woman hoped to receive one of his fifteen cherished roses at the end of the night.

  "I must say, I don't think I've ever been surrounded by such ravishing beauties before in my life."

  Much preening and eye fluttering followed. There were many hellos and nervous smiles. Some girls, more brazen than others, walked up to reintroduce themselves after their brief meeting outside the limos. A few took his hand and petted it as they talked, or brushed against him to make sure he was aware of them.

  Ashley did not want to be remembered. Her plan was to be an unnoticed mouse in the corner and go home. Tonight. She had no intention of being subjected to any more "spontaneous reality TV."

  Annoying host Clay instructed everyone to find a seat or stand around the edge of the room as Luke greeted the beauty queens, hand petters, and gold diggers.

  "I must say, I feel a little nervous with so many of you and only one of me" Luke surveyed the packed room. "As you know, I'm not used to so much attention."

  Hoots and screams of joy erupted. He glanced around, his bright blue eyes scanning everyone. Most of the women leaned forward to get the best view and to make eye contact as often as possible. A statuesque brunet in a red satin dress sat across from Luke directly in his line of vision. Poised on the edge of her seat with the slit of her dress open, she revealed long slender legs crossed alluringly, which often drew his eyes.

  Ashley sat at the back of the group on the edge of the tile fireplace. Arms crossed, she avoided eye contact with Luke as she observed the behavior of the others.

  A gorgeous blond perched on the back of the sofa hung on his every word. She looked like a model right off the cover of Cosmo in her silky gold, formfitting gown. It was cut low, revealing more than a decent woman should. A rail-thin woman with a porcelain complexion and a brilliant blue dress sat twirling the ends of her silky black hair. She eyed Luke with blatant desire.

  "I was born and raised in Whiskey Bayou, Louisiana, along with a brother and a sister," he said, moving around the room. "I've devoted my entire life to football and now find myself fast approaching the end of the road. At least as far as my athletic career goes"

  Eager faces bobbed up and down like little dogs sitting in the back of a car window, agreeing with his every word.

  "As you can guess, all the time I spent on and around the football field really didn't leave me with much time to pursue a serious relationship." Ashley heard an excited intake of breath around the room. "So, here I am at thirty-two, and heck, my clock is ticking."

  There was more twittering from the peanut gallery.

  "So when this opportunity came up to meet so many eligible and lovely women, I figured, why not." He stood. "I'm hoping to meet the woman of my dreams and finally settle down. In fact, it would be a perfect end to what has turned out to be a perfect career for me"

  Ashley
saw many ambitious eyes glitter at the prospect of being the woman of his dreams. She didn't want to be anywhere near his dreams.

  "I look forward to getting to know each one of you in the days and weeks ahead." He glanced at everyone and then over to Clay. "So let's get this party started!"

  Music pumped through the room where women stood in clusters. Only a few at a time could huddle around Luke so it was easy for Ashley to stay clear. Some of the women really worked him, while others played games, acting shy or coy. It was entertaining to see how each woman tried to win and then keep his attention.

  Meanwhile, the food and drink flowed. Although it was a big party atmosphere, Ashley met a couple of very nice girls. Liz, a tall beautiful brunet with long flowing hair and almond-shaped eyes, seemed real and was easy to talk to-in spite of her great looks. She was working on her master's thesis and hoped to take a couple of months to travel around Europe when she finished. Rachel had an earthy look. A petite five feet two inches with a short, light brown pixie cut, she carried herself with confidence. She told Ashley that appearing on the show was another great adventure. She had backpacked her way through Panama the previous year and planned to save up her cash to spend a year in New Zealand. Now, hers is a life I want. Apparently she had tried out for "Love 'Em or Leave 'Em" as a lark. She could never meet the right guy and thought it would be a lot of fun, and if she was lucky, maybe even net her a rich, good-looking hubby.

  "So, what brings you here?" Liz asked. "You don't look like the kind trying to make it in Hollywood by appearing on a reality show."

  "You've got that right." Ashley glanced around at all the probable model and actress wannabes and wondered how to answer without confessing the real story.

  "I guess you could call it an impulse decision I made after losing my job and getting dumped" She took a deep breath, recalling the painful experience. "Or say that it was a weak moment when I saw the ad for the show and applied. It was a total rebound decision." She quickly added, "I thought if there's ever a chance to find a perfect match, this would be it."